thoughts

It has been since the 6th of November since I posted here and that was to do a journal with others on a group. I have since left that group and asked if I could still get the journal topics each day receiving no answer nor the topics.

I don't do tutorials or blog hop events and half the time don't even post so why keep the blog? It is fun to show off my gsons and my kids but visits to my blog are rare. Let's face it ..I'm not entertaining. I'm not creative, I don't have much time except to work and take care of home so scrapbooking is falling away as fast as friends are.

I guess I am my own worse enemy. I try to treat others well, put them first, help them out..but apparently I am falling short. I've made my share of mistakes, never claimed to be perfect. But you just can't make someone care..And I wouldn't want it that way.

Sometimes I wish that I believed in reincarnation because then I could at least have hope that the next life would be better or maybe the next time around it wouldn't matter so much.

No more first moves for me..If someone finds me valuable enough they will make the first move..I'm really tired of being friends on everyone else's timetable and conditions.

Esther's Journal Jar Day 6

What do you think brings good or bad luck?

I don't believe in luck.. Enough said.

Esther's Journal Jar Day 5

List one thing you'd like to accomplish in 2011, and then list 10 things you will need to do to accomplish it ( think small; make a phone call, look up a phone number or web site, anything like these to accomplish it, etc)

I would like to get my home in order and be able to enjoy it for a change. Thirty three years..it's time for a change.

1. Paint the family room, kitchen and laundry room..All one area.

2. Replace carpet in all rooms. Can't do that until I cave and have my dog put down due to her leaking..Right now I just use comforters and wash them regularly. It is to hard to think about. She is 16 but not in pain and still enjoys life. I have done that twice in the 40 years we have been married and it is so painful for me,but the day is coming I know.

3. Clean and organize the garages. Yes there are two of them!

4. Switch the bedrooms out to accommodate adult foster care

5. Clean and redecorate my screened in patio

6. Get my flower beds tilled up and planted

7. Finish painting the trim in my bedroom so it will be finished.

8. Get chain link fence installed to replace worn out fence.

9. Replace soffitt, trim and door on the detached garage.

10. Sit back and enjoy the outcome!!

Esther's Journal Jar Day 4

Topic:

Do you do anything to help the needy? and if so, explain some things you do

I not only help the "needy" but I help anyone I can who has a "need". I believe that I was put here to serve others and I spend much of my time doing that. One service I provide is to the people who stand with signs asking for money or those who appear to be homeless. God and I have an understanding that at any time someone approaches me or if I am on a ramp at a red light just off the highway and someone has a sign, that I will give them $5. It is not much but it could buy them a meal or put gas in their car. I get chastised for doing it because most people think the person will run to the nearest place to buy alcohol..(like every homeless person is a drunk!) Well God and I talked about that and it was determined that if they did they were the ones who would be held accountable for that, not me. I would have done my part and God would bless my giving..Somewhere down the line when I am in need He will put someone in my path to help me.

We have one gentleman in town who has been homeless for many years. Some say it is his choice and maybe it is but I have been known to head to Wendy's on the cold snowy days and get him a hot bowl of chili, sandwich, fries and a coffee and coke..I always ask him if he would like to have it and if he minds that I did it because I don't want to step on his pride.

I am known for finding items that people need like sofas, beds, desks, dishes, you name it..Robert and I have volunteered to work at the local Free Store and we get items to help others in bad weather or for the holidays.

Probably the biggest thing I have done is brought Julie into our home after she and her mom ran out of money. She has a sister who lives in Florida but if Julie would have moved there she would have lost so many benefits here. Julie has Downs Syndrome and is 50 years old and has worked at a place called TAC Industries for 29 years. This has allowed her much socialization, a small paycheck but opened doors to many programs that help with her medical and everyday living expenses. Now in all honesty we do get the Railroad Retirement that comes from her father's account but it all goes into meeting her needs. It takes alot of money to help Developmentally Disabled people. But while with me she has learned how to walk up and down stairs, walk across the grass with out the fear of falling. She now gets her hair combed daily and bathes more than twice a week (the assisted living center said they did not have time to do her hair before she left for work because of all the other residents needing help. Julie dressed herself and went to breakfast on her own with uncombed hair!) She has competed in Special Olympics Bowling, Track and Field and attends dances and movies, gets her nails done each week and various other activities, none of which she did before coming here. I am officially Julie's legal guardian. :)

As I read this it sounds to me like I am tooting my own horn and I am very uncomfortable with that. I do what I do because God expects it but also because I absolutely get more out of it than the people I help..It is such a blessing to see someone who has a need get it fulfilled because I was able to help. You asked for examples and here they are..

Esther's Journal Jar Day 3

What little things have happened to you lately that have really touched you or made a huge difference in your day?

Hmmm..this is a tough one. I spend so much of my time trying to make other people's day special. Now if you asked what have I done to touch someone or make a difference in the THEIR day I could write alot. I focus each day on helping others smile by simply commenting on some one's hair or the lapel pin they have on, or talking to someone about their grand kids and how precious they are. I thoroughly enjoy praising others, giving them a pat on the back, boosting their self-esteem. I think there are far to many negative forces in this world and we should make others feel good about themselves and let them know how valuable they are.

Maybe I am to engrossed in doing what I do to recognize the little things that are blessings to me. Maybe I should slow down and watch for them. Thinking about it now makes me realize that I may be cheating myself out of blessings. Yes, I think I shall have to slow down some.

I have wonderful grandsons but do not get to see two of them but a couple times a month. I do have the Eli-boy here and well he definitely knows how to make me feel special. I went to pick him up from preschool this week and when he looked up and saw me he screamed.."MAWMAW!" I have to confess..THAT really touched me! :)

Esther's Journal Jar day 2

Are you trustworthy? and if so, why do you think you are?

The dictionary defines trustworthy as: adjective- deserving of trust or confidence; dependable; reliable. Let's break this down.. Deserving of trust or confidence; I think I fall into this category quite well. If something is told to me in confidence I want it to stay that way. As for trust, I think I can be trusted on many levels.

It's the dependable and reliable that sometimes gets me into trouble. I have all of the best intentions but I don't think I prioritize properly and I tend to let other issues get in the way of getting the job done. In other words I cave to overload. But having said that , I believe that if someone needs me or needs me to do something in a timely fashion, I, for the most part, can and will come through. In other words, my intentions are good but in all honesty I have been known to drop the ball a couple of times. Even when I do that, in the end , I will come through.

So, trustworthy? Yes I would say that I am trustworthy..

Trick or Treat OU style!

As most know, my Annie Leigh is attending Ohio University, long known for the big Halloween Bash..

The first thing people say when I tell them she is going to OU is how much it is a party school and I shouldn't let her go there.

Here is my reply: Drinking happens on every campus. I have taught her about the dangers of drinking from the easy addiction to the possibility of date rape from having her drink spiked with the drug. Annie knows the history of alcoholism on both sides of her family. She is however basically on her own down there. So I just pray that she will have the strength to not cave in to pier pressure. And mostly I trust her..

But to get back to my purpose for posting this pic other than I think she is so darned cute...The Halloween Bash was this past weekend and this is how she went. He nephew Eli loves Thomas the Train and Annie wears it well, if I do say so myself! As far as I know, OU didn't make much of a headline this year. Didn't get any email from OU explaining any occurrences..The fact of the matter is that when OU came in high in the party schools poll the reporters failed to mention that only 1%-2% of the student body had been polled. Now there is some accuracy for ya!

Some say I am burying my head in the sand but I say, I love my daughter, she has a good head on her shoulders and quite frankly I think Ohio University is a great place to go to school..

Day 1

Esther's journal box... Everything happens for a reason, right?

I have to say NO..While there are many things that happen for a reason by no means does EVERYTHING. When we are born God gives us a free will to do what ever we choose. He does not make us do anything..Because of that many things happen just because someone makes a bad decision. Sadly, often times, many people get hurt through no fault of their own.

Often we set ourselves back, cost ourselves money, lose out just because we didn't think things through..In other words ,everything has a consequence and we need to think what that might be before we make our move or open our mouth.

Others hurt us through THEIR lack of reasoning things out first.

I don't believe it is for a reason that people get raped or beaten or murdered. What I do believe is that it is up to us to CHOOSE to make good out of bad or evil. To learn from it and to help others through it..For ME , that means that I need to keep a close relationship with God because sometimes it just doesn't make sense for a very long time and may not ever make sense this side of Heaven. That is when I will lean on His everlasting arms like He asks me to through the scripture.